Firetruck Chuck
by Drowning in Chaos
Summary: Johnny Chuck is the co-host of the children's educational show, Chuck and Cluck. What starts off as a crush has Bella soon wandering how his ridiculous outift would look on her bedroom floor. Guess what? Johnny's in town, and Bella has front row tickets!
1. Eff You See Kay

**PLEASE READ!**

**To understand this story you may need to have watched the following. And if you haven't please YouTube them.**

**In The Night Garden  
>Dora The Explorer<br>Thomas the tank engine  
>Giggle and Hoot <strong> An Australian children's show which inspired this story ;)

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do own every single word written below though. Pfffffft NOT! Copy all you like, this shiz is crack.**

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><p><strong>Firetruck Chuck<strong>

**Chapter I: Eff You See Kay**

I could feel beady little eyes watching me as I woke from my slumber. I smiled before I opened my eyes groggily and blinked a few times in an attempt to focus on the small face in front of me. My daughter lay on her side, looking at me expectantly.

"Good morning, Sunshine," I groaned. "How long have you been there?" I asked sleepily.

"OH! I been waiting for ages, Mommy," she replied, in a matter of fact tone.

I laughed and pulled her in for a cuddle. She wrapped her small arms around my neck and I breathed in her soapy scent. I looked up to the alarm clock and groaned again.

_6:17 AM._

"You couldn't wake up in another hour?" I asked, only half joking.

She didn't answer. Instead, she climbed off my bed and walked out of the room. Moments later, I could hear the T.V, so I rolled out of bed and padded my way down to the family room.

I prepared breakfast; toast and orange juice for Sunny and a double shot espresso for me. I found my groove in the couch and drank my breakfast while vaguely paying attention to the cartoon on the box. I began making a mental list of all the things I needed to do for the day.

_Washing. _

_Buy some thickened cream for dinner and some herbs too. _

_Call Mom to see how Aunt Alice is going. _

_Start dinner around two. _

_Call Angela and see when she wants to catch up._

I sat back and began focusing on the T.V when a catchy tune began. I didn't recognize it and I had watched morning cartoons enough times in the last three and a half years to know them all by heart. When the host came onto the screen my interest piqued.

_He's cute!_ I thought. He wasn't exactly the kind of guy I could imagine throwing myself at or bringing home to meet the folks, but he was easy to look at.

I watched the whole show while Sunny danced and sang along with the man and his puppet co-host. When it was over, I realized that I had been staring at the screen, barely blinking, for a solid half hour. I looked around, feeling embarrassed, even though there was no one around to notice; except for Sunny, but she was mesmerized by the box herself. She'd sit in front of the T.V all day if I let her.

I reluctantly got up and started the day's chores, but, as the hours went by, the smiling host rarely left my thoughts. When I went to bed that night, he was the last thing on my mind. Before sleep took me, I set my alarm for quarter past six; I had to see him again.

Every morning, for the next month, I got myself into a routine. I always made sure I was up before 6:30AM, I'd make breakfast - double espresso- and then turn on the T.V, settling in for my daily dose of Johnny Chuck. Even if Sunny wasn't awake, I was.

By the second week he'd graduated from cute to sexy; the third week he was gorgeous - his eyes, his hair … The way it was kind of long and messy, like bed hair. By the fourth week, he was downright fuck-able and I often wondered how quickly I could change his smiling face into that intense look a man gets when on the receiving end of a mind blowing orgasm.

I was sick. The man's looks and demeanor screamed 'Children's Entertainer.' He was always laughing, always smiling, and always upbeat. I couldn't help it; I daydreamed about him every day. I often wondered how I could change his fake laugh into a deep moan of pleasure, his fake smile into one of intense satisfaction and how I could have his ridiculous outfit on the floor of my room. Except for his shoes, the shoes stayed on.

On one of these days, I sat in the family room alone, enjoying my daily dose of 'Chuck and Cluck' when an advertisement had me on the edge of my seat.

"_Come and meet Chuck and Cluck this weekend at Centro shopping mall! With entertainment from all your favorite characters and a chance to win a Chuck and Cluck prize pack! This Saturday from ten am to two pm. Don't miss it!"_

The voice yelled out excitedly.

"Oh I won't miss it," I said determinedly. "Not for the world."

"Who are you talking to Mommy?"

Sunny's sleepy voice made me jump. I placed a hand over my heart and, accidentally, yelled out an expletive. My daughter looked at me disapprovingly and I smiled at her apologetically, opening my arms for a hug. She walked into my embrace and I sat her on my lap.

"Chuck and Cluck are going to be at the mall this weekend. Do you want to go?" I asked, hoping to distract her from the lecture on my swearing. The kid had it down pat; my mother's a great teacher.

A loud girlish squeal pierced my ears and her little arms clamped around my neck in a tight hug. I took that as a yes.

I rang Angela straight away to tell her what we were doing on Saturday and ask if she wanted to come along with her son, Tyler. Of course she had to say something to remind me what a sick minded freak I was.

"Finally eh? You get to ask the guy if he'd like to put his smiling lips to better use on your -"

"Shut up!" I cut her off. "I wouldn't say that … not in front of Sunny, anyway." We both fell into hysterics and did our best to make lewd jokes that the kids wouldn't catch on to.

"So you're just going to ask him to sign his name on you then, with his peen - I mean pen, with his pen?"

"No I think I'm going to ask him if I can stick the picture I'm going to draw him on his wall of art, though it might have to go on a wall that's not so G rated, like his bedroom wall."

"Or you could just be upfront and ask him if he'll eff you see kay you into next Sunday." She laughed and I couldn't help the thoughts from flashing through my mind as the visions of fucking Johnny played over and over in my head.

_My fingers through his hair, his smiling face now in an intense orgasm O …_

"Shit, sorry I…" I stalled. I realized I'd gotten lost in my day dream.

I felt that familiar feeling of being watched. I looked down to see Sunny standing before me, hand on hip, tapping her foot and looking very displeased.

"Oh, shit. I gotta go, Ange …" I heard Sunny gasp as I let the second one slip. Angela barely got to say goodbye before I cut her off. Sunny did not look pleased and I had to hold in my laughter as her adorable face scrunched up into a scowl.

"Mom! I've told you once! I've told you a thousand times! Those words are too naughty for my sensitive ears! I'm telling Grandma!" Her small voice barely said most of the words correctly and I only just managed to keep in another giggle that began to escape. She narrowed her eyes at me and I held the phone away from her grasping hands.

"No! Please, don't tell Grandma. I was just really excited because we're going to see Chuck and Cluck on Saturday. I'm sorry baby. I'll put a dollar in the swear jar and buy you a chocolate on Saturday. Will that make up for it?"

She seemed to ponder this for a moment before she smiled and nodded. "Okay." She pointed at me and gave me a stern look, "But no more cuss words!"

I promised her no more cuss words and internally hoped that she didn't come near my room for the next few nights. With Johnny's visit only days away I was sure to be putting my rabbit to good use and there was no saying what inventive cuss words would be coming from behind my bedroom door.

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><p><strong>NB: My love and thanks to two special ladies in my life who helped me work on this story. Kat and Kynds are two bosom buddies I would be lost without. Their lives are so batshit crazy busy and yet they always find time for me. They mean the world to me and are not only great friends, but brilliant writers. If you haven't read their stories I highly recommend Corsair's Capture by celesticbliss and Setting Sun by QuantumFizzx. You'll find them in my faves. <strong>

**Another lady whom I adore is Bower of Bliss. I'm fairly certain you all know about her awesome story Drowning Not Waving, and if you don't then you're missing one of the funniest reads on FFN. **

**Would love to know what you think of this so far! And if you have followed this for what is possibly the hundredth time (*shakes fist at FFN* DAMN YOU!) then I thank you and apologies for this crap. I hope it's worth the stuff around for you. If not, well then hopefully you'll find a worthy read in my faves ;) **


	2. Fanny Bones

****I feel I should point out that a 'fanny' here in Australia is different to America. Our front bum is our fanny, the back bum is just a bum. So when this chapter mentions 'fanny' it means her front bum.****

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do not own them, nor do I own a squillion dollars. If I did, I would be paying people to read this ridiculousness coz no one's silly enough to do it on their own accord! **

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><p><strong>Chapter II: Fanny Bones<strong>

Saturday couldn't come fast enough. Really it couldn't. The days dragged on and suddenly, just watching Johnny on T.V wasn't nearly enough. Not when I knew that I was only days away from seeing him in the flesh. So I filled my days with work and mommy duties. I caught up with Angela on Friday for lunch and, while the kids played, she tried convincing me that telling Johnny Chuck that I wanted to 'eff you see kay' him would be a compliment and not creepy at all.

When Saturday finally did come, Sunny and I arrived at the mall at nine thirty. The whole way there, I kept telling myself that I went early to beat the crowds and, thankfully, when we arrived, there were quite a few people taking up the seats that had been set up in front of the small stage. I managed to keep the seat next to me free for Angela by sitting Sunny in it. I ignored the death glares from the other mothers when Angela arrived twenty minutes later and took her seat, while we ushered the kids to sit at the front.

"I see you have your CFM boots on," she noted.

"Yeah well, it was the only way I could take up your suggestion without being carried off by security," I whispered to her.

She went to say something else when the familiar tune of the Chuck and Cluck show began. I felt a shiver go through me and Angela must have noticed because she giggled under her breath.

"Shut up, bitch," I yell-whispered.

A voice over introduced Chuck and Cluck and hearing Johnny's name made my heart speed up. I anxiously waited to see his face when, suddenly, there he was. His smiling face beamed at the audience as his co-host fluttered about the stage, guided by strings. Johnny had a microphone on; it was a small one that went from his ear, along his cheek, to his mouth.

_God his cheeks are beautiful_. I focused on his lips as he introduced himself unnecessarily._ I could kiss those_, _over and over_. I looked over his usual purple and orange shirt, down to his snug fitting jeans and finally to his shoes. They were bright orange, but on him, fuck me they looked hot. And I was pleased to see that they looked better in real life than on T.V.

_Oh shit, I've lost the plot. I'm delusional! I just called ghastly orange shoes hot! I need help._

I tore my eyes away from the stage and looked for Sunny and Tyler. They were both dancing along with the rest of the kids and I smiled as I watched Sunny do all the steps to the song. Angela pointed out the kids, probably thinking I was still eyeing off Johnny, and I laughed along with her.

We continued watching as Tyler stopped dancing and instead lay on his back and begun spinning around like a break dancer. We laughed at his antics until he stopped spinning and pushed himself back until his head was almost between another girls feet, looking up her dress. The girl looked a couple of years older than him, about six, maybe? She had no idea he was there as she bopped up and down.

"Oh shit," Angela groaned from beside me. I began laughing so hard that tears sprang to my eyes and I only laughed harder when I heard her mumble, "Tyler please get ... oh, for the love of God ... don't give me a reason to disown you today, son."

She turned to me then and, with narrowed eyes, she pointed at me and yell-whispered, "You! Shut-up or else I'll tell Chuckles up there how you want him to tickle your fanny bone." I tried to stop, but I was too far gone and that just made me laugh more.

She huffed at me and moved to get up and make her way down to the front of the stage when an almighty cry could be heard echoing throughout the mall. We both looked to the front at the same time to see Tyler holding his face and Sunny looking down at him with worry. The girl whose knickers he was admiring was nowhere to be seen. We both made a hasty exit from our seats and walked, at a fast pace, down to the front. Picking up our kids we looked around at all the parents and guardians with an apologetic smile. Most of them looked at us with sympathy but a few weren't too happy that we had a child screaming out the noise of the show.

I chanced a look up to the stage to make sure we hadn't interrupted. They were still talking about the importance of brushing ones teeth but Johnny looked directly at me. He had one brow raised and I had to mentally warn myself not to drool. I was frozen to the spot as our eyes met. He flashed me a small smile and within a millisecond he was back in character.

_I hope that's butterflies and not gas_.

It took Sunny pulling on my hand to bring me back to Earth. I let her lead me out of the crowd while I followed in a daze.

We decided that while everyone was watching the show, it would be a good time to get something to eat. We sat in a booth at the cafe and while the kids ate their lunch we had coffee and cake. It was death by chocolate so it just had to be eaten. I couldn't leave the poor thing just sitting in the window.

Tyler had a bit of a shoe print on his cheek, but the redness had gone down at least. Surprisingly the girl's mother didn't approach Ange to talk about Tyler's, ahem, hobby. They probably figured it was a fair tit for tat when the girl stomped on his head.

"So, did you bring something for him to sign?" Ange asked me with a knowing smile.

"Yep," I replied simply.

She looked at me expectantly, I looked around to make sure both the kids were pre-occupied and no one was listening in, then pointed to my chest with my fork. Ange snorted and, as if in slow motion, we watched as a small piece of chocolate cake flew from her nose and landed with a disgusting splat on the face of the guy at the table next to us. I heard Ange's sharp intake of breath and I held my own as we waited for his reaction.

He either didn't notice or he ignored it while he continued to read his paper and sip his coffee.

"Oh shit. Let's get out of here!" Ange whispered quickly.

"Hey!" Sunny called out, getting the attention of almost everyone in the cafe. "You said-" A five dollar note was shoved into her hand and I looked over to see Ange looking at Sunny pleadingly.

"Here, get yourself something nice. C'mon kids, let's go."

"Why does she get money?" Tyler whined and crossed his arms over his chest with a humph.

"Firetruck," Ange mumbled as she fished through her purse for more money. Shoving it into her son's hand, she grabbed his arm and told him it was time to go. I laughed at her, before following her lead.

We made our way back to the show but it had finished. There were a few people dressed as characters from the morning cartoons, walking around and talking to the children. We approached a few of the characters with the kids and took their photos while they asked questions. We had just been assured by the Fat Controller that he didn't get that way by eating too many donuts when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hello there! How you doing, buddy? I saw you fall down before, are you okay?"

"Oh, he didn't fall down, a big mean girl stood on his head when he was lying down," Sunny explained.

I spun around and, again, froze to the spot as Johnny, in the flesh, was leaning down and talking to our children. He had a confused look on his face and I remembered what had just been said. I looked quickly to Ange to see her face going bright red.

"He likes to - ah - break dance," Ange said, unconvincingly.

"Right," he said, before standing up. He extended his hand to Ange, "Johnny Chuck."

"Ange Cheney," she replied, shaking his hand. I watched as his hand curved around her hand. I had a sudden urge to push Angela out of the way and warn her to never touch him again.

_Get a grip Bella!_

"This is my friend, Bella. She's a _huge_ fan. Huge fan." She empathized overtly on the huge. I did my best to keep my cool and not kill my friend with laser eyes.

"Oh, It's always nice to meet the _huge_ fans," he said and turned to me with his hand extended, a big smile on his face.

I melted and then returned his infectious smile. "Bella," I shook his hand and curtseyed before I realized what I was doing and could stop myself. My body flushed and my ears tingled as the heat rose to my face.

His friendly smile became an amused smirk but he didn't pull me up on my ridiculously odd behavior. I silently hoped that he'd met crazier mothers than me and I wouldn't be a funny story he told his mates about later.

"Did you get to stay and enjoy the show?" he asked, still looking at me.

My voice was stuck in the back of my throat. I tried to reply but nothing came out. Ange saw my dilemma and stepped in.

"The kids were hungry and Tyler was making a bit of a fuss, so we had some lunch instead," she replied.

"Oh well, lucky there's another show in half an hour." He smiled and looked at all of us expectantly.

"Yes. Lucky … very lucky," I said slowly, almost dreamily.

That amused smile made a comeback and I mentally slapped myself out of my daze. I stood up tall and smiled back at him as an awkward silence fell around us.

"Well, it was … interesting…meeting you all. I best move on. You have fun, kids." He waved at Sunny and Tyler, and then he was gone.

I sighed with relief when he was out of sight, but a part of me was sad to see him go. I turned to give Ange the death glare I'd been dying to give her from the start when Sunny walked up to me and threw her arms around my hip.

"I like him Mom, he's really funny," she talked up to me.

"Yeah, well get in line, kiddo. You're mum's got something she wants him to tickle," Angela said sarcastically. I turned to chastise her when I heard a cough from behind us.

I turned around slowly and there stood none other than Johnny Chuck with a charming smile on his face and a crisp five dollar bill in his hand.

"I believe this belongs to the blonde beauty?" He handed the money over to Sunny and she thanked him with a blush in her cheeks.

I stood there agape, I could barely stutter out a thank you before he turned and walked away again. With visions of my best friend dying a very violent death, I turned to glare at her.

"You are a bee eye tee see-"

"Yeah, yeah." Ange cut me off with a wave of her hand. "I can see Dora; I have a bone to pick with her." Ange walked off with her shoulders set, looking much like a woman on a mission, leaving me there to swim in my own embarrassment.

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><p><strong>NB: <strong>

** Love to Q & celesticbliss who helped with this chapter. **

**Looking for a new read? Check out these ladies:**** Claire Bloom and AcrossTheSkyInStars. You'll find them in my faves list. **

**If you have thoughts on this chapter, write them down in the box that comes up when you click this button here and I will write some thoughts back.**

**VVVVV**


	3. Fur Pants Der

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just gonna throw Dora and Iggle Piggle into the mix and see how they come together. FYI Dora and Iggle Piggle don't belong to me either, but if I ever met them, I would probably roll them down a very steep hill.**

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><p><strong>Chapter III: Fur pants. Duh!<strong>

"Where's my mom?" Tyler asked.

_Shit._

I realized then that Ange had left me with the kids while she went to tell someone dressed up as Dora what she thought about said fictional character. I made a silent prayer for the poor person inside the suit.

_Please, Goddess for the insane, let that poor person be deaf, even if it's just temporary, starting about … now_. I watched my friend approach them with a pointed finger and then I turned to her son.

"Your mom's just gone to have a nice little talk to – err – someone," I replied.

"Look! There's Igglepiggle! Let's go say hello!" I ushered the kids towards the blue … thing, hoping to distract them.

I could hear Ange from where we stood. She went from talking about how she was draining her bank account only to watch Dora's ridiculously repetitive show, to then suggesting that Dora find some new friends because hers were rather quite daft. Surprisingly, Dora agreed with a nod of her head. Either that or my prayer had been answered and Dora's sudden lack of hearing was making her agreeable.

Sunny and Tyler hugged Igglepiggle and his tart Upsy Daisy, who was already dancing around with her skirt blown up. You see, my theory has always been that that's the whole reason Igglepiggle even goes to The Garden. Let's face it; it's not for the conversation. I figured I'd never get another opportunity like this and so, taking a page out of my best friend's book, I decided to see if my theory was correct.

I held onto Igglepiggles arm and squeezed it gently to get his attention. When he looked at me I leaned in so no one would hear our one sided conversation and nodded toward the dancing Upsy Daisy.

"That's the real reason you go there isn't it? Coz she's always prancing around with her skirt up?"

Igglepiggle didn't like that one bit and promptly put a hand on his hip, or there about, and tutted me with his whole freakish hand. I wasn't about to let some stuffed blue Gumby doll telling me off like a child.

"Sure, creep. Truth's out now. By the way, I never liked you," I seethed. "C'mon kids, lots more to see and do." I grabbed both kids by their hands and coaxed them away from the creepy blue Gumby and Skanky Daisy.

I released their hands once we were at a safe distance and let them lead the way to where they wanted to go next. Naturally, Tyler began heading for his mother, and we watched on as Dora threw her hands up in the air and began yelling in Spanish.

"Usted es un idiota!" A female voice screeched out. With that, Dora turned on her heels and walked away from a flustered Angela.

"Mommy? What did Dora say?" Tyler asked after she joined us again.

"She said that I'm a great explorer, sweetie," Angela replied, slightly flustered. Then she leaned into me, "Did she just call me an idiot?"

I nodded, "Yep."

"That girl really does know Spanish." Angela seemed surprised.

I leaned into her as if I were sharing a top secret. "You do realize that's not the real Dora and the fact that Dora is a fictional character herself?" I whispered.

"Of course I do," she replied as if I was the one that'd lost my marbles.

Tyler was happy hanging onto his mother but I realized that Sunny had run off while we were soaking up our Spanish lesson. I looked around in a panic until I saw her a few feet away, talking to one of the people dressed up as characters. I told Angela I'd be right back and made my way toward Sunny. I had only taken a few steps when a figure stepped in front of me.

"You and your friend are making quite an impression on the people in suits." My heart skipped two beats.

It was Johnny.

I looked up at him, stunned for a moment. He filled the silence before I could get my nerves together to speak.

"Is it true that you propositioned Igglepiggle?" He smirked at me and, besides it making my insides tingle, it made me furious that he'd believe that dirty little…

"I did _not_ proposition him. I simply told him that I was onto him," I replied, pulling my shoulders back, my stance now challenging.

"You're _onto_ him?" He raised an eyebrow and I nearly melted into a puddle around his delicious orange shoes.

_Fuck, orange shoes._ _Get a grip Bella!_ I shook my head to dispel the image of him plowing my garden while he wore his shoes.

"Well, it's obvious that the only reason he goes to The Garden is because Skanky Daisy flits around with her skirt blown up," I stated.

Chuck chuckled at this and the sound made my stomach flip. I looked over his shoulder to make sure Sunny was still in the same spot, upon seeing that she was fine, I shifted my attention back to him, momentarily.

"You make a good point. I'm sure Al – I mean, I'm sure Igglepiggle was impressed with that theory." His charming smile was out in full force, it was lopsided and it showed off one beautifully defined dimple. I continued to watch his dimple while I replied.

"He wasn't particularly pleased that his secret was out, no."

Johnny went from acting casual, to being back into character in a split second. He looked around him anxiously, as if he had just remembered where he was.

"Well I hope you enjoy the show!" He said excitedly and held his hand out for me to shake again. "Bella, isn't it?" he asked, his voice a little deeper this time.

"Yes," I confirmed as I shook his hand.

He squeezed my hand gently and ran his thumb over my skin; a slow burn followed it. He pulled his hand away rather quickly and politely excused himself. I watched him leave for a few moments, drooling over the way his jeans hugged his ass, and those shoes…

_Ugh! _

I found Sunny telling her life story to one of the people dressed up as a bear from one of the many bear shows.

"…so we came back so Mommy could get tickled – " I grabbed her hand and pulled on it lightly before she could share anymore.

"C'mon honey, the show's about to begin." I managed to pull her from the pant-less bear.

_What is it with bears never wearing pants? Do they have something against them? A personal grudge, maybe?_

We managed to get a seat in the front row this time and the kids moved to sit on the floor, right out front. While we waited for the show to start, I leaned into Ange and spoke lowly.

"Why is it that bears never wear pants you think?"

"Coz they have fur pants on."

"Huh?"

She turned to me and looked at me as if I were daft. "They have fur pants on! You know…"

_Blank._

She huffed and explained it to me slowly. "Their fur covers their business." She pointed down to her nether region for emphasis. "Pants would just be a waste of money."

She faced the stage again as if everything she had said was exactly right and there was no need for further discussion. I couldn't find a flaw to her explanation, I mean; I don't remember seeing any bears on T.V with their dingalings flapping around in the breeze; so I accepted that she was right and focused my attention back to the stage.

_Wow, I'm learning a lot today!_ So far I'd learned that the best way to stop a guy looking up your skirt is to stomp on his head. That snorting with your mouthful was hazardous to those around you. That Igglepiggle really is a dirty old biddy. Most importantly I learned that Johnny Chuck was even sexier in the flesh, that his dimples and his one eyebrow trick weren't just stage make-up and that his touch was like that small electric shock you get when you stick a knife in the toaster.

My heart was still beating wildly from our last conversation, when he was introduced back on stage. The second show was much like the first, but the last twenty minutes of it was new to us. I was entertained plenty. I watched as Johnny sang and danced, and when he sat on his prop couch, I had a sudden urge to go up there and snuggle against him.

I made a conscious effort to sit all the way back in my seat and tore my eyes away from him for a second. I took a deep breath and then looked back. I was jolted as his eyes met mine. Not fleetingly, not as a general scope of the audience, but right at me, as he sang a song about going to bed.

It was all about steps you take before bedtime and I followed each one in my mind as he sung them.

Brush your teeth. _Minty fresh breath, perfect for kissing._

Put on your pajamas. _I would put on something nice and sexy and easy to take off._

Read a book or sing a song. _Ooh, yeah, he could make me sing … Shit!_ I was openly drooling over him. His eyes suddenly looked away and I snapped out of my daydreams.

"Fuck, Ange, I just drooled onto my jeans. Please, kill me now. Do it, do it quick." I sank down as far as the hard plastic chair would allow me and put my palm up to hide my face.

"Bella, he was seriously looking at you. I think it's the boots, hold them up, make sure he gets the message." She then proceeded to grab my leg and try to lift it up.

With my body already at an awkward angle from all the shrinking away, and me trying desperately to stop her from lifting my leg, I slipped right off my chair. My ass landed right on a little girls hand while the heel of my boot hit another kid in the back of his head. Luckily I had somewhat prepared for the fall and so it didn't hit him too hard, however it didn't stop both kids from crying.

I fumbled as I tried to right myself and then I began apologizing to the kids profusely, begging them to stop crying. They weren't crying loudly but we had caused a bit of a scene and most of the people near the front were now watching the commotion.

Ange, forever my heroine, started waving around ten dollar notes in the air then knelt down until she was in their tear streaked faces.

"Here! Here! Stop crying. Ssssh. Here, go buy your selves something nice." The girl instantly stopped crying and snatched the money from Angela's fingers. The young boy, seeing what the girl had done, followed suit. Angela looked at them in disapproval, "You're welcome," she huffed and then sat back in her chair. I climbed back up onto mine and hid my face through the rest of the show.

The minute the show was over; we grabbed both of the kids and headed for home. I couldn't stand the embarrassment any longer. There was no way in Hell I would be able to face Johnny, especially if he'd seen my spectacular show of child abuse.

I had just gotten home and put some groceries away when Angela called.

"Pack your bags, the kids are having a sleep over and we're going out."

"Where are we going?" I asked hesitantly, Angela was a little wild when drunk; I wasn't sure I was up for a night of yahooing.

"Who gives a shit where we go? Ben's looking after the kids and he's giving me a free pass. Oh, I know! How about that new bar that opened down the road? They say it's really nice, it even has its own mini brewery," she suggested excitedly.

"You don't drink beer," I reminded her.

"I know that, but I might like to try some. Shut up. Just get your ass over here and dress nice, we're going there for dinner." She hung up. No goodbye meant there was no time for me to argue. The bitch knew me too well.

Sunny was excited when I told her she was having a sleep over at Tyler's. Apparently Tyler's play room was way better than hers. My child sure knows how to make her mom feel special.

We were just about to head out the door when the phone rang again and I rushed to pick it up.

"Hello," I huffed.

"Bella, you been running, dear?"

"No, I was just on my way out –"

"Oh, I know you were …. Say that laughing boy is nice isn't he?"

And so began one of the weirdest conversations I'd ever have with my Aunt Alice. And that's saying something because Aunt Alice was … something else.

"Laughing boy?" I asked, feeling confused and a little agitated. I was anxious to get out of the house. I didn't have time for one of her cryptic conversations.

"Yes, the one on T.V. You know, he laughs all the time … and he has that bird, Bella. You know, that man with the bird." She sounded frustrated. She was mad that I hadn't given her fumbling brain an answer yet.

I wracked my brain and then suddenly it hit me. My keys slipped from my hand, making a clang as they hit the kitchen floor.

"Johnny," I whispered down the phone line. I was stunned.

"Johnny! Yes, that's the one! Yes, yes. Now he's a handsome boy, don't you let go of him. Now listen, darling, that's not why I rang," she prattled on.

"Oh?" I asked, now extremely confused.

"Now, sweetheart, don't go getting upset, but God will call upon me next week and I would love to see you and Sunny before I go. You'll bring her in to see me won't you?"

I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized we were now in familiar territory.

"Oh, Aunt Alice, you said that last week," I replied, as usual.

"I know! Can you believe I was wrong? No one's ever bet against me before and it seems God wanted to be the first. Now, are you going to bet against me, Isabella?" Her voice grew fragile as she said my name and tears sprang into my eyes.

We had, had this conversation every week for almost three months and the worst part of it all was, that one of these weeks, it wouldn't be a word of a lie.

"No, Aunt Alice. I would never bet against you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"All right dear. You go have fun tonight. Kisses to you all. I love you."

"Love you too." With that she hung up and I stared at the phone in wonder.

Aunt Alice was amazing. She was the one that gave Nessie the nickname of Sunshine and had made it stick. She had always been cryptic in her messages she got from her sight, but she had always helped guide me through my life. Now that she was getting old, her visions were hit and miss, but she was still a beautiful soul. I'd dread the day that she would be taken from us.

Sunny calling for me from the front door shook me from my daze; I picked up my keys, and then made my way out the door.

Once at Angela's we got the kids settled with dinner and a movie before sneaking out and taking her car.

The pub was gorgeous. It had an old English style to it with a few vats behind the bar. Everything was strong in color and the materials raw. The large wooden beams seemed to be made especially for holding up buildings such as this. The bar was a dark slab of wood that looked as if it had just been cut down and nailed in.

I took off my small jacket as we waited to be seated at a table. The waitress took out two menus and asked us to follow her. We meandered through a few small table settings and smiled politely as we passed by the diners. In the middle of the restaurant area a large table had a group of people seated around it and we smiled as we moved to pass them, but then my eyes captured someone and I stopped dead in my tracks.

Johnny Chuck had his knife and fork poised to continue eating his dinner but he was looking up at me, complete surprise on his face. This look of surprise turned quickly to amusement and I felt heat flush my body from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair. I snapped my eyes away from him and looked around the table. There were easily ten or fifteen of them.

My eyes found a tall, quirky looking man and I couldn't help but look at him as if I knew him from somewhere. My intense glare must have made him aware that he was being watched. He looked up at me slowly. My confusion quickly turned to recognition and it all came crashing down around me when he put his finger up and began pointing it side to side. He was tutting me!

_Igglepiggle_. I was seething. I wanted to jump the table and smack his old biddy head sideways.

I looked back to Johnny and realized his shoulders were shaking as he laughed silently at the exchange in front of him. I narrowed my eyes at him but he only smiled in return and then uncurled a few fingers from his fork as if in a wave.

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><p><strong>NB: Love to Q &amp; celesticbliss who helped with this one, too.<strong>

**My rec's for today:**

**Vampmama and ZenOne**

**You'll find them in my faves list. **

**What children's TV character do you despise and why? What would you say, or do, to them if you ever met them?...Forgetting that they are just characters of course ;) **


	4. Come Here Often?

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, just, you know, in case you didn't know that. **

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><p><strong>Chapter IV: Come Here Often?<strong>

Dinner was uncomfortable. No, not just uncomfortable. _Un-fucking-comfortable_. Johnny only had to look over his left shoulder slightly to see me, and, by the time I had finished my main course, he had done exactly that; eight times.

I was very aware of every bit of food on my plate. I felt like an eccentric food critic. How much food could I put on my fork without it slopping off and making a mess? How wide did I have to open my mouth to execute a perfect placement of food with no embarrassing spillage, but also without looking like a sideshow clown waiting for someone to push their balls down my throat? _Wait, that didn't … never mind._

I obsessively wiped my mouth after every second bite and licked my lips in between. Conversation was almost non-existent. I didn't want to lose concentration and Angela didn't hide the fact that she found this very amusing. By the time dessert came around, his table was empty and, although I felt a little sad that I would never see him again – at least until he was on my T.V come Monday – I felt happy that I could finally enjoy my dinner.

I decided on the chocolate mousse for dessert. Chocolate, in case you haven't realized by now, is one of my many vices. I never shied away from eating it. Life's too short to miss out on the good stuff. I worked my ass off to keep it off my hips but even still, I'm not perfect. I always wanted to be one of those people that seemed to just snap back after having a child. I always thought that once my baby was out, I could walk out of hospital in my size six jeans, whistling nonchalantly, as if giving birth was the simplest thing I'd ever done in life.

I was very naive, because it was nothing like conceiving a child. That was the easiest twenty seconds of my life.

Sadly, I got the other end of the spectrum. It was painful, it was long and it left scars. Instead of walking out in jeans, I hobbled out in my pajamas and my bra stuffed with breast pads. At least I had a gorgeous baby to show for it … and some impressive stretch marks.

Angela and I talked about work and kids while we ate our dessert and finished off the bottle of wine. We reminisced about the day and I found it much easier to laugh about it, now that I wasn't in the horrifying moment of the discussed disasters.

Once we had finished, we decided to find a seat by the bar and continue the conversation there. When it was Angela's turn to get drinks she brought back a brewery taster. There were four different types of beer and we both tried them all. We picked a favorite each and decided to be brave and order a full glass.

It was my turn to get drinks and I had just placed my order when I heard a familiar voice from behind me.

"So, do you come here often?"

I turned around slowly to see Johnny standing there with a beer in his hand and his lopsided smirk in full force. Surprisingly, I didn't feel anxious or nervous, I felt happy and really fucking excited.

Maybe a little tipsy. Maybe.

I must have been quiet for too long.

"Johnny."

He pointed at himself with his thumb as if I could have him confused with someone else. I decided to play along.

"I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you without the purple get-up and those hideous shoes."

_Lies. All lies. _

"You don't like the shoes?" That eyebrow was up again and I wanted to lick it, but I held myself steady. "I thought they would be guaranteed lady killers." That dimple.

"So I lied. The shoes make me want to take you home and do unspeakable things with you." I was shocked as the words fell from my mouth, but I couldn't stop them. I looked at him and tried desperately not to cringe at myself as I awaited his reaction.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned back toward the bar. _Saved by the barman._ The bartender told me how much I owed him and I paid him before turning back to Johnny.

"You want to sit with us?"

_What the hell, Bella? You just told the guy you want to take him home and now you're inviting him over to sit with you. Hussy!_

_It's the beer's fault_. I glared murderously at the beers in my hand.

I noticed that he hadn't answered my question yet and I looked up to see him looking at me curiously as I tried to kill my drink with laser eyes. I went to try and redeem myself when he finally spoke up.

"Okay, sure," he replied with a smile.

Shocked, I led him to where Angela was waiting. I watched her face as I approached. She instantly composed herself after a flash of shock flitted across her features. I smiled at her, maybe it was more of a grimace, while my eyes zoned on her and I pleaded with her internally.

_Don't fucking embarrass me, please!_

"You remember Johnny?" I asked Angela unnecessarily

After some polite reintroductions, I found myself sitting between my best friend and my T.V personality crush on a monstrous leather sofa. Life could not get any weirder.

"So do you come here often?" Angela asked Johnny.

He and I laughed while Angela looked between us, confused.

"I just used that line on Bella," he explained.

"Right." She winked at me and then took a sip of her beer. I watched as her face screwed up at the taste.

"You ladies sure know how to make an impression! You were the group's main topic of discussion tonight, especially between Al – between Igglepiggle and Dora." He smiled at us lazily and then took a manly sip of his beer.

Johnny now had his back up against the arm of the sofa. He had one leg up on the seat, bent at the knee, the foot of his other leg was flat on the ground. He had slung one arm over the back of the sofa and the other held his beer. He looked so relaxed and so fucking hot it was a battle to not look between his legs or jump into his open lap.

His black shirt had the top two buttons undone and, again, I had to warn myself to not reach out and undo the rest of them to see what goods he was hiding under there. I was so busy ogling that Angela had to answer for me. Bless her.

"Yeah, well, they're just lucky I had my son with me," she replied. She was tipsy; I could hear it in her voice.

That eyebrow. "So what is it you don't like about them?" His question sounded genuine, he really wanted to know why we would beat up on innocent fictional characters.

"Well for starters there's too many pant-less bears, then there's too many made up creatures that, although artistic, are downright creepy for children. Then there's the lack of education on language, like that – that _ignoramus_ Igglepiggle. Who is not only so idiotic that he can only say his own name, but he condones his girl walking around outside with her skirt up all day."

_Okay, so I may be a little passionate about the subject, or slightly inebriated. _

"Interesting."

He took another sip of his beer and held my gaze over his glass; I was slightly baffled. I'd just rambled on a bunch of nonsense and all he could muster in response was 'interesting'? The guy was so calm it made me want to shock him.

"Don't forget about Yo Gabba Gabba!" Angela added in. "That shit is thirty two shades of fucked up!"

_Slash that, she's not tipsy, she's drunk._ I laughed at the realization that the night was about to turn 'thirty two shades of fucked up' itself. Oddly, I was looking forward to it. I was feeling wild and free.

"Yes! Exactly! I mean you have this guy, with extremely bad fashion sense, playing with dolls!" I added.

"Don't forget the creepiness of said dolls." Angela continued, sloshing her drink around as her hands moved about emphatically. "Except for Muno, he's useful at least! You just need some AA batteries!" I lost it at this point; both Angela and I were in embarrassing hysterics as Johnny looked on in confusion.

"Batteries?" he asked, and then his eyes widened when realization hit right between them. "Oh! Ah …" His words faded and it made me laugh harder, especially when I saw a bit of pink creep into his face.

_God he's gorgeous._

When we finally stopped laughing I decided it was time to move the conversation away from us, before it got dangerously silly.

"So how did you get into the job? Is it something you've always wanted to do?" I asked.

He shifted in his seat a little and his knee rubbed against my thigh in the process. My breath stopped short at the contact, while butterflies sent a shiver through me. He smiled at me knowingly and I returned it.

"I flunked drama school." Angela laughed a little at this and I turned to glare at her. She stopped instantly but he noticed and continued on. "No, it is kind of funny. I mean how the fuck do you flunk drama?"

I almost gaped at the man, hearing him cuss was simultaneously surprising and very fucking hot.

"I heard about the new station and that they wanted new presenters, so I figured, why the hell not? I didn't have anything to lose. I was picked out of thousands, along with three others that host the afternoon shows."

He took a sip of his beer and leaned back in his chair. It was only at that moment that I realized he had moved into me as he spoke. Okay, so he moved into _us_, but as a single mum, who rarely sees outside her house, and hasn't seen a un-fur covered dingaling in a long, long time, I had every right to imagine that it was me he was leaning into.

"So why did you get the morning show?" Angela asked.

"Because of my smile, of course." He winked and smiled widely; showing two very deep and perfectly placed dimples.

I sighed wistfully and then, realizing what I had done, skulled the rest of my drink to keep myself busy.

Thankfully, while I drunk myself into oblivion, Angela leaned over me and began another topic of conversation. Eventually, after a few more drinks and some dancing to the band, we all fell into easy conversation and spent the rest of the night laughing and getting to know each other.

When I realized that I was moving out of 'wow, I'm drunk' territory and into 'wholly fucking shit I am absolutely sloshed, this is going to hurt tomorrow' territory, I switched to soda.

Angela, however, kept right on drinking and come one in the morning, she was at the point of 'oh shit, I'm going to spew all over that guys back,' which is just what she did. I began to apologize profusely to the guy, until I realized that her chosen target was Igglepiggle. I may have smirked at him after my half assed apology poured from me.

I sat Angela down on the sofa and forced large glasses of water in her hand. Once she'd managed to hold down about a liter of water, I suggested that we head for home. Angela suddenly pulled me to her and hugged me.

"Ssshtay," she slurred.

I pulled away from her and shook my head. "No, we should go, you'll just vomit on someone else and I couldn't possibly hold my glee in if it was Skanky Daisy. That could get us in trouble." We both laughed at this but then she shook her head a little and pulled me back to her.

"No, I'll go, you stay." She nudged me then and I turned to look behind me. I found Johnny kneeling by me, his hand rested on the sofa behind me as he looked at Angela with concern.

"She okay?" he asked with a nod of his head toward my obliterated friend.

I nodded as I fought with the whirring of my mind. _Stay? Go? Do I even have a chance?_

"Yeah I'm just gonna send her home, but I might – I might stay?" It came out as a half statement half question.

He smiled widely at me and I felt my heart speed up. I was staying. I was staying and then we were going to…

"I'll help you get her into a cab," he yelled over the band, which had just begun to play again.

We managed to get Angela out of the place without any more vomiting mishaps. I thanked her quietly and promised to be over in the morning to pick up Sunny as I hugged her. She told me not to rush, fell into the back of the taxi and then waved weakly as it sped off.

I quickly rang Ben as I watched the taxi drive off.

"Hello?" I'd woken him up.

"Incoming, she's tanked. You're welcome. Oh and – ah, I'll be round tomorrow morning to pick up Sunny," I added quietly.

"Hussy." He laughed.

I laughed with him. "Hardly, I think I've forgotten how to do it," I replied nervously.

"In the words of my beautiful wife, 'it goes in the front bum dear, the back one is exit only.'"

"Thanks for the tip." I scrunched up my nose; thinking about my best friend and her husband having sex wasn't exactly my idea of fun.

"You owe me. Night, Bella."

"Night, Ben." I hung up the phone and turned around to see Johnny standing much closer than I thought he was. It was evident by his smirking face that he'd heard the whole conversation. Well, my side of it at least.

"You know I'm not so sure that Alan wants to see your face again." He chuckled into his hand and then coughed as if to hide it.

I realized that he was talking about Old Biddy Baldy Igglepiggle and I shrugged my shoulders. "He's just lucky that I didn't aim Angela at his girlfriend too." I narrowed my eyes toward the door of the building, as if my glare could reach those inside.

"You do realize that they are not the real characters?" he spoke from above me. He had moved closer again. I looked up at him slowly, taking in everything as if studying a beautiful piece of art.

"I know that. I just don't think he likes me very much. I probably shouldn't agitate him." I looked deep into his green eyes and lost myself within them.

His fingers brushed mine and then they slid along them, followed by his palms. We stood, palm against palm for a while, our eyes searching each other's. The buzz that his touch created was so loud that I barely heard him when he leaned down to me, his lips so close that his breath became my own.

"Let's get out of here," he whispered.

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><p><strong>All reviewers get virtual voodoo dolls of the children's tv character they despise most, to do with what they want. Those that don't will get a visit from Macca Packa so he can blow his horn on you. Um, at you, I mean <strong>_**at **_**you. ;)**

**Rec's for today:**

**SilverSpoon and WelshWitch1011 – two RL sisters who both write some amazing Buffy and Supernatural funnies, yummies and other stuff that will keep you on the edge of your seat. **


	5. Teenage Playground

**Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. If you would like to give me credit for anything, put it right in here. *pulls out garter belt***

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><p><strong>Chapter V: Teenage Playground<strong>

There was a cool breeze in the air, but the buzz of the alcohol and the tingles from Johnny's hand as it held mine, kept me warm.

We had run, like hyperactive children, until he had led us to a playground a few streets away from the bar. We sat on the swings, dragging our feet along the ground as we swung back and forth in small movements. It was too awkward to go any higher while we were holding hands.

From the moment he had first grabbed my hand to lead me away, he had only let go of it once, but he linked his fingers with mine soon after and never let go.

"How did you know this park was here?" I knew the park well, we weren't far from my house and I had taken Sunny to the playground plenty of times.

"I grew up around here; it was kind of nostalgic being at the mall today." He looked at me with a wry smile and my heart sped up as a slight dimple formed.

"So you're a local?" I was a little surprised at this; I had expected him to be from one of the larger cities nearby.

"Yep, I'm an Eagles supporter through and through. You?" He stood and pulled me up with him. We stood toe to toe; I looked up at him and pointed to myself.

"Black and red," I replied with a smirk.

I knew he'd have something to say about that tidbit of information but I was a little surprised when he dropped my hand and took a step away from me. He feigned disgust and I laughed at his display.

"I'm sorry, I don't think we can be friends anymore," he teased.

"So you hold hands with all your friends?" I teased back.

He grabbed my hand again then and, as he stepped forward, he pulled me into him. Our bodies touched and I put my hand on his chest instinctively. His free arm wrapped around my waist, his palm flat against the small of my back.

"Only the special ones," he replied lowly.

He smelled of beer and man, I breathed him in momentarily before I felt his warm lips on mine. It was careful, a test, he was dipping his toes in the water, and still, my heart leaped out of my chest. He lingered long enough for me to store the moment away in my memories as one of the best I'd ever had. When he pulled away, his eyes searched mine, his dimples perfect in my periphery, I worked frantically to bring my mind back to Earth.

"And you kiss all your special friends too?" I asked, still slightly dizzy from the taste of his lips and his proximity.

He breathed out through his nose in a kind of chuckle, his smile became lopsided.

"Only the beautiful ones."

I blushed at his compliment. It wasn't often that I received them from the opposite sex. He noticed my blush and did his eyebrow trick. A silent question.

"Mom of one, who, apart from play dates and signing paperwork, grocery shopping or paying bills, doesn't get out often. I don't receive compliments from chuckling television presenters all that often." I explained.

"You've never been called a MILF?" He smirked at me, making me laugh.

"No. Not to my face at least. Sad isn't it?"

"Very," he mumbled against my lips, before claiming them with his own.

This time I was ready for it and I kissed him in return. My bottom lip was between his, then my top and then my bottom again, before he pulled away.

He had a wide smile on his face and I looked at him curiously. He simply winked at me then grabbed my hand and led me to a patch of grass where he let go. I watched as he leaned down and then lay on the grass. He patted the space beside him, and shot me a dimpled smile. I practically melted into the spot next to him. We looked up at the cloudless sky and stargazed. He grabbed my hand. I felt like I was fifteen again.

"What about you?" I asked.

"Sorry?" He looked sideways at me, confused.

"You must get a lot of mom's chasing after you? Asking for some _other_ type of education than what you give their children." I giggled at my lame joke. He laughed and squeezed my hand.

Looking back at the sky, he replied, "I've been approached a few times at appearances, but funnily enough, when I'm not in my uniform, they leave me alone."

"Must be the shoes," I replied simply.

"I knew it." I saw him shift in my peripheral so I turned my head, we were face to face and his smirk was in full force.

"Hey! I didn't deny it; I told you what those shoes do to me." I pointed at him in exacerbation.

"Yeah, after you called them 'hideous.'" He rolled onto his side, propped himself on his elbow and rested his head in his hand. He gave me a challenging look.

"Well I'm hardly going to declare my love for orange shoes in public, I only did it because you made me," I retorted.

He quirked his eyebrow. "I _made_ you? How did I make you tell me?" He smiled and I begged my heart to not react, just this once. No such luck.

"With them." I pointed at his dimples, but he looked at me confused. "Your dimples … they … do things…" I shut up quick smart when I saw that what I was saying was sinking in and his smile grew wider. I swallowed my groan of embarrassment and closed my eyes momentarily.

When I opened my eyes, he hadn't moved, but somehow his smile was different. It set fire to my insides and this time I let the groan out, closing my eyes again.

"That's mean," I stated.

He laughed then. "What's mean?" he asked innocently.

"You're using my shared information against me!" I opened my eyes and looked at him accusingly.

He put his hands up as in defense. "Alright then, I won't smile, from this moment on. Just for you." He lay on his back again and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Thank you … I think," I replied.

He chuckled. "Oops." He slapped his free hand over his mouth and we both laughed, him with his mouth covered.

"So, a girl from the West side! What was it like growing up there?" he asked, once we'd stopped laughing.

"It was okay. My dad's a police officer, my mom teaches natural therapies. I finished school, and then went to university got a degree that required far too much reading. I bought a house out here, began a job at a publishing house, and then fell pregnant. "

"You?" I asked. "I mean I've only lived here for about five years, but what's it like being a boy of the South?"

"Dad's a doctor, my mom is a stay at home mom and my sister is a high school dropout. I did the high school thing, went to uni to begin a law degree, got bored and tried my hand at drama school; like I said, I flunked that. So being a boy from the South is like having an L taped to your forehead."

"That must really suck," I said flatly.

"It got me here," he stated, and squeezed my hand again.

I was beginning to really like that.

"So, I'm guessing Sunny wasn't planned?" he asked without trepidation, turning the conversation back to me.

"No. Not … no, she wasn't." I didn't know what to say. _Where to start?_

"So her father, is he still … around?"

_Ah, let's start there, shall we?_

I laughed at his question and squeezed his hand when I saw him stiffen at my outburst. He relaxed and I shared my story without inhibitions.

"My time with the sperm donor was the worst drunken twenty seconds of my life." I laughed and thankfully he laughed along.

"Oh, that's just sad," he said through his laughter.

"Yeah, it wasn't exactly a work out. But the following nine months, well they made up for that." I sighed at the memory of my pregnancy.

"So he just didn't stick around or…?" he asked hesitantly, seeming like he didn't want to push the issue but was curious none the less.

"I told him a few months later, when I found out. He said he couldn't even remember being with me so he refused to believe it was his. I found out the guy was an addict anyway and not someone one would want around their children, so I left him well alone. My parents were a great help, plus Angela was already six months pregnant at that time, so I had her to share my woes with."

He rolled onto his side again and looked at me with concern. It surprised me and I looked at him curiously.

"You did it all on your own?"

"No, I had my parents and Angela, like I said," I stated again.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, of course you had help, I just mean that, you know, that you've raised her yourself?"

I nodded.

He smiled widely at me and I pointed at him sternly

"You promised!" I exclaimed.

"I can't help it! It's your fault!"

"How is it my fault?" I asked.

"Because you have this look that you've been giving me all night and it makes me smile." He picked at some grass beside him, he seemed fidgety.

"What look is that?" I glared at him.

"That one right there!" he called out through his laughing.

"How is my death glare funny?"

This made him laugh harder, which inadvertently made me glare at him harder. It went in circles until I finally jumped him. I pushed him down onto his back and started trying to shut him up by putting my hand over his mouth. He was thrashing about and my hand slipped, landing beside his face.

My body was now sprawled out on top of his, our faces inches from each other's. The mood changed in an instant. An awkward pause followed. We looked at each other, our short breaths one and the same as we breathed each other in.

Johnny moved underneath me, breaking me from the spell. I went to move off him, when I felt a hand on my back and another one cradle my head, his fingers slipping through my hair. He leaned up at the same moment he gently pushed me down. Our lips met and this time there was no holding back. His tongue slid over my lip and I allowed him entrance. It was soft and sensual … for a while anyway.

I felt like a teenager. I was kissing a guy in the grass of the playground. Not only that, but we had been going for a long time before I pulled back to try and breathe a little. He smiled at me and then, in one swift movement, rolled us over until I lay on my back and he laid half on top of me, half on his side.

"You taste of beer," he growled, before taking my lips again. I giggled like a school girl and he pulled back, looking at me with a quirked eyebrow and his dimples in full force.

"You're impossible!" I groaned, as I closed my eyes again.

When I felt his fingers lightly brush through my hair I opened my eyes. He was right there, face inches from mine.

"I'm hardly going to stop doing something when I know how much it makes you weak at the knees am I?" he asked, smirk in place.

"Don't flatter yourself," I replied.

I reached my hand up and tentatively put my fingers through his hair, the way his were doing to mine. He closed his eyes and moaned. Seeing his reaction to my touch made me ache to have his lips again. I tugged on his hair lightly, encouraging him to kiss me. His eyes flew open and I saw the smile in them, before his lips crashed into mine, hungrily.

We were only moments into the kiss, tongues exploring, breathing in each other's short gasps in between, when he rolled on top of me. He grabbed my bent knee, pulling me closer to him. The friction of our down stairs areas made us both moan out loud.

Johnny rocked into me again and then threw his head back as he groaned out, "Oh my God, Bella!"

I reached up and grabbed onto his hair with both hands, I tugged until he opened his eyes and looked at me. I quirked my eyebrows and smirked at him.

"You called?" I teased.

He laughed a little at this and then kissed me once, before pulling back to look at me again. Then he pushed himself into me harder and rocked back and forth. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I arched my back as the ecstasy of it all pulsed through my veins.

He stopped rocking and I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"God Bella?" he asked, with a smile.

"Yes?" I replied, trying not to laugh.

"Please God Bella; help me get a beautiful woman home? I'd like to make sure she gets there safe. There are all kinds of creepy television presenters out there preying on MILF's and I don't know what I'd do with myself if she were captured by one." He looked at me then, eyes blazing.

"Too late." I was referring to his 'captured' comment and he got the hint instantly.

His lips claimed mine again, only this time it was with pure animalistic passion. We now knew everything there was to know about each other's mouths and we used it to our advantage. His body rocking into mine caused a chorus of moans to echo around us and we were lost in each other for a long time before he finally pulled away, breathing hard into my neck.

"Bella …" I knew what he was asking. I didn't hesitate to answer.

"My house is only a few streets away, think you can make it?" We were ready to roll in the hay. It didn't matter where we were at this point; we wanted to lose ourselves completely.

"If we run," he replied in a gasp.

He stood up in a shot and held his hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me up hard and fast. I flew into his chest; he wrapped an arm around me, kissed my lips quickly and then grabbed my hand and began running, leading me along.

"What are you doing?" I called out.

He stopped short and looked at me, confused. "I thought you – you said…"

"I live that way," I said, pointing in the opposite direction to where we were heading.

He smiled at me and I glared at him, his smile widened, I glared harder.

"Stop doing that!"

"You stop doing that!" he replied, pointing at me and smiling still.

I tried to stop glaring and straighten my face. This made him laugh and then, suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me and crushed me to him. He claimed my lips again and I yielded, falling into him.

We stood like that for a while before he pulled away slightly, his lips almost brushing mine as he spoke.

"Bella, I'm all for exhibitionism, but if you –"

"Right." I shook my head, hoping to dissipate the fog his kiss had left behind.

I linked our fingers and led the way to my house at a run.

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><p><strong>Recs for today: <strong>

**TLCullen132 & Jay's World**

**Hands up who's kissed in the playground? Two hands up if you did more than kiss in the playground ;)**


	6. Adventure World and Wonder World Collide

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just making their World's collide. No, really! Read on, you'll see ;)**

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><p><strong>Chapter VI: When Adventure World and Wonder World collide.<strong>

We ran the whole way to my place, laughing like children. Once I had let us inside, I barely had time to get my breath back when I was pushed up against the hallway wall, Johnny's lips devoured me.

I kissed him back with fervor, wrapping my arms around his neck and slipping my fingers through the hair at the nape. We kissed for the longest time, it never got boring and I would have gladly stayed there forever; if I didn't have the desire to do other things that is. I pulled out of the kiss, throwing my head back to gasp for air. Johnny didn't stop his assault on my heated flesh with his mouth, he just continued on, kissing down my neck.

"Bedroom," I managed to gasp out, before his lips were on mine again.

We continued kissing as we stumbled to my bedroom. I wasn't sure if Johnny realized where we were when he continued to kiss me standing up, while there was a perfectly good bed right there. I grew frustrated and took the lead. I pushed him down onto the bed; he landed with a thump on his back and bounced a little as the springs gave way. His eyes widened in surprise but then he smiled as I moved to straddle him.

He took a hold of my waist and looked at me with animalistic hunger that made my whole body tingle.

"Please, God, tell me I'm not dreaming," he whispered, looking up at me.

I leaned down until my mouth was right beside his ear, "you're not dreaming," I whispered.

He growled and, in pure animal fashion, rolled us over until he was on top, in between my legs. Jackets and shirts came off in a flash; it was so fast, that before I could blink, his beautiful chest was staring right at me. He didn't have a six pack or even a two pack, but he was toned enough that he had the most delicious V shaped muscle I have ever seen.

I didn't hesitate; I moved to trace it with my hands until I was hindered by his jeans from going any further.

"These have to come off. Now," I stated, looking up at him with a deep seated hunger.

He smiled and then stood up to take off his jeans and then his underwear. The most glorious cock I had ever seen was staring back at me. It wasn't huge but it wasn't small either. It was Kellogs. I wanted to fall to my knees and worship it, but instead I said, "Holy shit."

Johnny only smiled at me then he knelt by the edge of the bed, reached up and slowly undid my button fly jeans. His eyes roamed my whole body until he got to my eyes, where he held my gaze as his hands began to work my jeans down my legs. When they were at my feet, he stood up and tore them away from me, throwing them to the corner of the room.

He worked his way up my body, kissing my goose flesh as he went. Kissing my thigh and then my hip, my stomach and then over my bra, my neck and then finally, my lips. I moaned as the heat of it flushed my skin. He kissed me deeply for a few moments and then straightened his arms by my head.

He looked down, appraising my body under his lustful gaze. I tried desperately not to squirm from the thrill of it.

"God, you're beautiful. So fucking beautiful." There it was again, a curse word from the mouth of a children's entertainer and it made me so excited that I pulled him down to me.

I was desperate to feel him, all of him. I wanted to crawl inside him and stay there a while.

He worked down my body again, but his kisses were slow and they were everywhere. Once he got to my covered breasts he let out a low growl of, what seemed to be, frustration. He moved his arms around me; I lifted my back to give him better access. My chest was now right where he wanted it and he continued to kiss it while he unhooked my bra. He pulled it off delicately then admired me for a long moment before taking my left nipple into his mouth.

I gasped in surprise and then moaned as the pleasure flooded through me. My toes curled as he lavished first one and then the other with his talented mouth. I sluiced my fingers through his hair, holding his head to me. It didn't slow him down as he continued to explore, kissing my belly a few times before he got to my hip. Having his lips and tongue tasting me near where I wanted him to taste me most made me wild.

"Oh, Jesus, God. Ugh." Coherency went out the window when I felt him pull my underwear down and kiss the skin where my Adventure World began.

"They're both a little busy right now," I heard him say and I looked down to see a dimpled smile on his face.

I threw my head back into the mattress and moaned out, "Oh fuck." I heard him chuckle before he continued his adventure.

He gently – far too slowly for my liking – pulled my underwear down. I heard as he breathed in sharply and then expelled the air in a whoosh between his lips. I mentally thanked the Goddess of smooth, Gillette, for taking care of me earlier.

Once again, he knelt by the bed, my feet hung off the edge as I lie horizontally across it. He worked the material over my feet and then kissed them, once each. He worked his way up my legs, spreading them gently as he went. My breath hitched with every kiss, as he moved closer and closer to my Adventure World, the ultimate adventure location.

When I felt his tongue tentatively touch me, it felt like all my Christmases had come at once. I barely had time to think before he devoured me, working a kind of white magic that could turn mushrooms into fluffy white bunnies.

I held onto his head again, the softness of his hair barely registering in my hazy mind. It didn't take long before I was screaming out to the Heavens, announcing my climax. Johnny seemed pretty chuffed with himself as he made his way back up my body.

He kissed me again but pulled back when he realized how we were situated, he was right there and I could see his mind ticking over. He wanted to just go for it, but there was something else. I went to ask if he was okay, when he spoke.

"Condom?" he whispered.

_Shit, how could I forget that?_

"Top draw." I pointed to my top draw and while he leaned over to open it, I silently prayed to the Goddess of protection, Ansel that they were in date.

Johnny took out the large unopened box and looked at me with a quirked brow; I swallowed my drool and explained.

"A girl has to stay optimistic. But I'd check the date if I were you."

With an amused smile in place, he looked at the date on the side of the box. He laughed and I groaned. I didn't like the sound of that.

"What?" I asked.

He moved back over me, kissed me gently, and then rolled onto his side.

"They go out of date next week." He opened the box and tore one of the foil packets from it, then threw the box on the other side of the bed.

Rolling back on top of me momentarily, he leaned down and kissed my neck, tasting the skin with a slip of his tongue before moving his lips to my ear.

"Looks like we're going to be busy for the rest of the week," he whispered, making my skin break out in goose bumps.

_Wait, for the rest of the week? Does that mean this is going to happen again? Oh God, please let that mean this happens again real soon._

Johnny rolled the condom over his Wonder World and then positioned himself; he looked up at me, seeking permission. The same moment that I nodded, he instantly pushed himself inside of me. Our moans were instinctual, coming out all on their own. It took a few back and forth movements until he was in me completely but once our pelvises were flush, we enjoyed the moment for a while.

The weight of him was welcomed and when I looked into his eyes I had that feeling of wanting to crawl inside him again. When he started moving, I moved with him until my hips found a rhythm to match his. I was in Heaven and when I looked at his face, I could tell that he was there with me.

I closed my eyes as the rhythm got faster, it had been so long but it felt better than I remembered. Wrapping my legs around him I clawed his back with my fingers as the intense thrill of it all began to overtake me. The damn burst and my Adventure World rained down on his Wonder World, clenching it as if I owned it. I called out his name and pulled on his hair as the aftershocks continued to put me in a heightened state of bliss.

I came crashing back down to Earth and opened my eyes to see him staring at me intently as he continued thrusting. I held his gaze and picked up my pace, the noises of Adventure World and Wonder World colliding could be heard echoing around the room. We continued to look at each other and I almost lost it when he smiled at me, his dimples playing with my consciousness. I wanted to close my eyes so badly, to just lose myself in the sensations pulsing through me, but I held his gaze.

"So … perfect … never want to … stop, oh God … coming," he rasped out between thrusts.

He picked up speed and I held onto him, clawing at his back as another orgasm threatened to claim me. Faster and faster he moved, moaning and yelling out curse words. He suddenly stilled, thrusting inside me and holding me there as he released. I rocked my hips, desperate to feel everything, crawl inside of him and get myself over the edge. Then suddenly, it happened, my climax hit me with such a force that I collapsed. My energy instantly drained and I lay there, gasping for breath.

Johnny collapsed on top of me and I somehow managed to lift my arms and throw them around him. I lightly dragged my fingers up and down his back and he sighed at my touch. We lay like that for a long while, before I asked if he wanted a shower.

We both jumped in the shower together and before long our hands were all over each other. His hands were as magical as his mouth and soon enough I was bursting forth a string of obscenities as I came undone. He followed soon after as my own hands discovered his Wonder World and Happy Sacks.

We smiled at each other, drunk and relaxed from our playtime. We washed and dried off, then fell into bed just as the sun was coming up. He pulled me to him and I lay with my head on his chest. I couldn't hide my smile even if I wanted to.

I had no chance of sleeping and by the heavy breathing coming from Johnny, I had a feeling he wasn't sleeping either. He proved this by kissing the top of my head.

"You're amazing," he rasped out.

I moved up the bed to lie beside him and shot him a smile.

"Not so bad yourself, stud."

He puffed out his chest, a smug smile on his face.

"Yeah, I am a bit of a stud, aren't I?"

I burst out laughing and he looked at me with a mock pout. He pulled me into him and held me tight. He kissed my forehead and lingered there; breathing me in at the same time I breathed him in.

"I'm never going to be able to watch you on T.V without blushing now," I admitted.

He laughed a little, his hot breath caressing my face.

"I'm not going to be able to introduce Igglepiggle without laughing. Nor am I going to be able to think of Wonder World and Adventure World in the innocent sense they're meant to be thought of, ever."

I looked up at him in a shot, fear and embarrassment making my skin prickle. Reading my expression, he laughed again.

"You called out 'oh your Wonder World feels so good in my Adventure World' while in the throes of passion. It took me a while to realize what you meant." He smiled at me, looking amused as my blush turned my body into a heat pack.

While the embarrassment heated me to the core, I buried my head in his chest and groaned out loud. I had never felt so ashamed in my life. He laughed at my discomfort but he caressed me and kissed the top of my head once again.

"It's okay, I'd have to agree; my Wonder World and your Adventure World are a match made in playtime Heaven."

I groaned again. It was obvious by his voice that he had just quoted me again. He laughed louder this time, my body moved with his and the sound of it reverberated through his chest.

When he finally stopped laughing, he placed his finger and thumb on my chin, urging me to look up at him. I could still feel the heat in my cheeks as our eyes met.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make fun of you. I mean it; your Adventure World is something else and I would like to … discover more of it." As he said this, he moved us until he hovered above me again.

Suddenly the heat flushing my body was one of a different kind and I yielded to him as he molded his lips to mine. Our worlds collided once again, but this time it was slow, sensual and consuming. The afterglow after that round sent us both to the land of dreams.

I awoke only a couple of hours later to my phone ringing. I pulled myself from Johnny's arms reluctantly, and lunged toward it on my bedside table. I didn't get it in time and I heard the answering machine pick it up. I collapsed back into bed and decided to listen to who it was first.

"I could be dead by now for all you know," Aunt Alice's voice cackled through the phone. I smiled inadvertently, remembering I said I'd go see her today, as I did every Sunday. Not that she knew that.

"You and Johnny need to get out of bed and hurry up now. Playtime is over –"

I lunged for the phone and picked it up before she said anything else. I knew it was too late, I could feel Johnny stir behind me.

"Hello Aunt Alice," I huffed into the phone.

"Hello dear," she replied. I could tell she was smiling and it made me smile down the phone in return despite the fuckery she'd just caused me.

I sneaked a peak over my shoulder and was instantly met by a quirked eyebrow and a dimpled smile.

"I'm on my way to pick up Sunny now, I was just on my way out the door," I lied.

"No you weren't," she stated.

I lied down on the bed with a huff and brought my hand up to cover my eyes, I could feel Johnny staring at me but I wasn't quite ready to see the look on his face.

"No, I wasn't," I admitted. "I'm up now though, thank you."

"You're welcome, dear. See you soon. Bring Johnny won't you, I'm sure he'd love to see me." With that, she hung up.

I glared at the phone in my hand and growled out in frustration.

"Aunt Alice?" Johnny aked.

"Yep," I replied, and then chanced a look at him.

He looked confused with a hint of amusement.

"She's – uh, she's psychic. I swear I told her nothing about you. The first time I heard of you from her was last night."

This piqued his interest and he rolled on his side, resting on his elbow with his head in his hand. I mirrored his position.

"What did she say?" he asked, intrigued.

I really didn't want to talk about my crazy aunt, let alone introduce him to her. I stalled, then, with a sigh, I spilled.

"She wants to meet you, today. She's in a hospice and she keeps having a premonition that she dies, that's only coz she… she doesn't have long with us now, and her old mind gets confused with understanding her premonitions nowadays so you can't really take what she sees seriously."

"Okay," he spoke slowly. "So what did she say?"

"That you're a keeper." I looked up at him through my lashes, not knowing if I really wanted to see his reaction. Surprisingly, he smiled at me.

He rolled onto his back and put his hands behind his head, I noticed that his biceps were pretty defined.

"She's right, I am." He glanced sideways, a cocky smile in place.

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded in confirmation but then moved to get up. "So should we get ready and go? Mind if we stop off at mine so I can change?" he asked.

I looked to him in bewilderment. "You don't have to go. Johnny, really, I'd understand if you're a little freaked out by this."

He looked to me, confused. "I'm not freaked out, I think it's cool. Plus, I want to see if she knows what my future holds." He flashed me another cocky smile.

_Bring Johnny along won't you, I'm sure he'd love to see me_. Aunt Alice strikes again.

I looked at him like he was crazy, momentarily, and then shrugged. I headed for the shower as he got dressed. By the time I got out, he was no longer in the bedroom. I put on jeans and a tee then headed out to the family room, where I found Johnny. He was walking around and looking at all the pictures on the wall. Hearing me enter, he turned to look at me.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded in reply.

I grabbed my phone and called a taxi, I then called Angela and told her I'd be over to pick up Sunny in about an hour.

"Okay." I heard movement and then she whispered, "Did you eff you see kay him?"

I looked to Johnny who was now back to looking around the room and whispered back, "Yes."

I realized I should have just spoken normally. My whispering gave me away; Johnny spun around and smirked at me. So when Angela asked me "Was his see oh see kay huge?" I could only splutter, then tell her I had to go and I would see her in an hour.

She reluctantly said goodbye just as I heard the horn of the taxi. I lead us to the front door and closed it behind us. Johnny stood with his hand out, I took it and didn't let go, even as the taxi sped off to take me to my doom.

My crush was about to meet my crazy aunt, and my daughter, in a more private setting. Life could not get any weirder.

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><p><strong>Recs for today: All the FAGE storiesauthors in versions 1-3 thus far. Look them up in the community section of FFN**

****What's the weirdest nickname you've heard, or made up yourself, for the downstairs area?****

**I want to take this opportunity to thank you guys for all the reviews, the faves and alerts. The fact that you read this crack at all is pretty cool to me xx**

**Also, I apologise for not replying to any reviews last chapter and most likely this chapter, too. I've spent the last day and a bit getting to know my toilet well and giving it lots of hugs. Hoping this passes soon so I can string two words together. Please know that i'm reading each one as they come through to me on my phone from my death bed. **


	7. I Fire Trucked Chuck

**I don't own the characters. The characters in my head that I do own would probably land me in a padded cell.**

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><p><strong>Chapter VII: I Fire Trucked Chuck<strong>

Johnny's apartment was near the city center and completely out of our way. I didn't mind though, it gave us more time alone and I could never tire of that. I didn't even get a chance to open my purse before he was throwing money at the taxi driver and thanking him. I scowled at him but I'm not so sure he took notice. I vowed to pay him back … somehow.

His bachelor pad was just that; a bachelor pad. I looked around while he showered and got dressed. There wasn't much to see. Just the basics; plasma T.V, large brown suede couch and a bean bag in the colors of his favorite team. I had a fleeting thought of throwing it over the balcony or marring it somehow, but he'd know it was me. I didn't want to reduce the chances of a repeat performance of the night before.

I checked over the couch and, seeing that it was free of stains, sat down until he appeared. He was dressed in dark jeans and a casual green shirt with some writing or pattern in black on the front of it. I couldn't quite make out what it was, possibly because I didn't spend much time looking at it. There was too much goodness to take in and I had to do it without seeming too creepy or stalker-ish.

It was my crush and he was standing in front of me, in his house, where I sat. I couldn't get my head around it, but more so, I couldn't fathom why he was looking at me the way that he looked at me right at that moment. His smile was almost … exhilarating. It wasn't the plastered on smile that he used for television either. It was genuine, and so surreal, not to mention contagious. I smiled back.

"So what do you think?" he asked, sweeping the room with a hand.

"It's nice!" I said enthusiastically. "The couch doesn't have boy stains on it. That's a bonus," I added, as I caressed the soft fabric with my hand.

He tilted his head slightly, looking at me like a confused puppy for a moment, before he rubbed his hands together with a toothy smile.

"Let's go see crazy Aunt Alice," he said, rather excitably. "I can't wait to have my future read," he added.

"I can tell you what's in your immediate future. You're about to meet the craziest lady you've ever laid eyes on." I took a moment to appraise him and then continued, "You're also going to meet my daughter," I said flatly.

"I've already met Sunny." He sounded confused.

"You've met her as Johnny Chuck, now you're about to meet her as …" I suddenly realized I didn't know his name at all and I looked up at him, eyes wide.

"Johnny Cullen," he replied easily. His smile was reassuring and I breathed a sigh of relief that his name wasn't something weird like … Johnny Musket Cheese or some shit.

He held his hand out to me as if he were introducing himself. I laughed but gave him my hand. Rather than shake my hand however, he pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me.

I looked up at him and asked a question that had been on my mind for a while, "Are you sure about this?"

"Are you worried about me meeting Sunny?" he asked apprehensively.

I only thought about his question for a few moments before I responded. Sunny was impressionable, but she was at an age that meeting a guy once or twice wouldn't really register as something that could possibly disrupt her whole life and there for cause problems.

"No … no, I'm not."

His smile was easy but one of pleasure, he let go of me and took a step back. "Good, because I'm looking forward to meeting her again," he replied, sounding more relaxed than was normal for someone who was about to meet some strange woman's child – in a more personal setting – and crazy aunt. Sure, we'd shared a bed, but did this shit not seem weird to him?

"Orange or black?" he asked and I was shaken from my thoughts to see him pointing at two pairs of shoes. One of them obviously being the ones he wore at work. I felt a shiver run through me as I gazed at the orange pair.

"Black. Got to keep things G-rated, best to leave the orange ones at home," I replied, almost reluctantly. I sat back on the sofa to make sure my knees didn't buckle beneath me at the sight of his orange shoes.

He laughed at my reasoning and then picked up the black pair, before sitting next to me and tying them onto his feet. Once he had finished he turned to look at me.

"Ready to go?"

"The question is, are you ready?" I asked back.

"We'll find out wont we?" he replied with a wide smile.

He took my hand and pulled me up. Lacing our fingers, he then led the way to his garage, grabbing his keys from the kitchen bench on the way. I admired his shiny Honda as we approached it.

"Nice car," I commented.

He opened my door for me and I sat inside. "Perks of making a fool of myself on T.V," he replied before closing the door.

The drive to Ange's was a quiet one. He tried to start a conversation now and then but I was too highly strung to keep it going. When we were stopped in Ange's drive way I took a few deep and slow breaths.

His hand squeezed my knee gently and I glanced over to him. He seemed to be trying to reassure me. It occurred to me that I should be the one reassuring him. He was about to be interrogated by two very excited kids, my nosey best friend, and my all-knowing aunt.

"You sure about this?" Reassurance wasn't my strong point. Hell, I wanted to turn around and run, I couldn't understand why he wasn't even sweating.

He didn't answer; instead he exited the car and then walked around to open my door for me. His gentlemanly charms weren't completely lost amongst the panic raging inside me.

I rang the doorbell and waited for Ange to answer it. When she did, the look on her face was enough to simultaneously make me blush and want to giggle like a school girl. Had we still been in school, this is where we would have found a quiet corner to discuss all the gritty details from the night before. But now that we were mature adults, we had to hold in our girlish glee.

_Ho hum._

We had barely stepped inside before the children could be heard running toward us. Both kids rounded the corner and abruptly dug their heels in when they saw Johnny.

"Hey guys!" Johnny smiled and gave a small wave.

"OH MY GOD! JOHNNY CHUCK IS IN MY HOUSE!" Tyler screamed and began to run around in a circle.

All of us laughed, except for Sunny who was still standing there, mouth agape.

"Hey honey, you remember Johnny?" I encouraged her.

Sunny nodded and then came up to me. She hugged my leg, hiding her face into me shyly. We shuffled our way through to the living room where Johnny met and shook hands with Ben. Ben gave me a sideways glance and I gave him my death glare, warning him to not embarrass me. He chuckled and offered us a coffee, which we accepted.

Before long, both of the kids were banished to the play room and we sat down to coffee and some carrot cake that Angela had cut up for us. I didn't realize until then just how hungry I was.

"So what's the plan today?" Angela asked. I could see that she was holding herself back.

I'm almost positive that sitting down for coffee and cake was not at all what she wanted to do. Much like myself, I'm fairly certain she wanted to celebrate this momentous achievement.

"Ah, firetruck. Excuse us a minute." Angela stood up and held her hand out to me. I looked around the room in confusion and saw that both Ben and Johnny had no idea what was going on either.

Angela moved her head slightly to the left, indicating that I must follow her. I excused myself and did as I was told. Angela led us to her room, closed the door behind us, grabbed my hands then proceeded to jump up and down while squealing like a little girl. I let it all out. Joining in on her chorus of childish squealing and jumped around in a circle.

"You got laid! And by Johnny Chuck! You fucked Johnny Chuck!" She squealed!

"I fucked Johnny Chuck!" I squealed in return.

Abruptly, we both stopped. We straightened our hair, brushed down our clothes and then looked at each other. We giggled simultaneously and she pulled me in for a quick hug. She opened the door and continued to straighten her clothes as we walked back toward the living room. As I followed, I practiced making my face look casual.

_Nothing amiss here. Simply two grown women celebrating the coming together of Adventure and Wonder Worlds._

I walked to the wall and banged my forehead on the cream plaster. I massaged my cheeks, hoping to mold my goofy smile into a look of indifference. Once I felt I had gotten it under control, I turned and continued on.

By the time I re-entered the living room, Ange was already in her seat. She questioned me silently with her eyes and I shook my head minutely. I sat back down and kept my eyes on my coffee cup. I feared that if I looked at Johnny, my goofy grin would return.

"So, um, where were we? Oh, yeah! So what are you guys doing today?" Ange asked again.

"Going to see Aunty Alice," I mumbled into my coffee cup before taking a sip.

Both Angela and Ben looked at me, seemingly shocked. I figured, we were adults, and amongst friends, so I told them about Aunt Alice's cryptic message the night before and the one that morning. Some of it Johnny was hearing for the first time and I looked at him to garner his reaction. He looked intrigued and not at all freaked out. I wanted to check his temperature. He laughed along with Ben and Angela when I told them about the morning's 'playtime is over' message.

I decided that I had embarrassed myself enough and changed the direction of conversation.

"You're awfully perky for one who spent the evening painting the other bar patrons with remnants of her stomach contents," I complimented Angela.

"Oh, God," she groaned. "That's not even the worst of it." She didn't elaborate, instead choosing to busy herself by taking a sip of her drink.

"Why, what did you do?" I looked between her and Ben, begging with my eyes for the whole story.

"She tried to rape me," Ben replied with a smirk.

"I did not!" Angela admonished him and slapped him playfully.

"Did too!" he replied childishly. "Then she puked all over little Ben." Ben winced as he announced this news.

Johnny and I burst into hysterics while Angela sank into her seat, shooting devil eyes at her husband. I couldn't breathe through my laughter and when I tried gasping for breath, a piece of carrot cake came up and lodged itself in my wind pipe. I spent a minute coughing, tears streaming from my eyes and drinking down my coffee to help soothe my sore throat.

Johnny patted my back and the kids came in to see what all the noise was about. I used this as a scapegoat and told Angela that we should be on our way.

As I hugged Angela good bye she held me tight and whispered in my ear. "Details. Tonight." I nodded before she let me go.

I put Sunny in her seat and told Johnny to follow me in his car before exiting Ange's driveway and turning left.

I looked in the rear vision to make sure Johnny was following okay and then let my eyes sweep over Sunny before looking back to the road. She looked like she was concentrating on something or was rather deep in thought.

"You okay back there, sweetie?"

"Mommy?"

"Sunny?"

"Did Johnny stay over our place last night?"

"Um…"

_Fuck._

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><p><strong>Hands up how many mummies have been in this situation or been caught with hubby by the kids….awkward! Reminds me of that Modern Family episode…yeah, you know the one ;)<strong>

**One more chapter to go. Thank you all so much for the support and for sticking this out. I'm still off kilter today but hope to be able to reply to reviews later, after a nap maybe. xx**


	8. Panic At The Hospice

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This whole ditty is something I plagiarized by some crazy lady. Seriously, someone should get her help. Okay, so it's not plagiarized, but if you don't like this here ending, we'll just pretend it is.**

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><p><strong>Chapter VIII: Panic At The Hospice<strong>

I managed to deflect Sunny's questions by putting on her favorite CD and turning it up. As we arrived at the hospice 'The Wheels on The Bus' was playing for the fourth time. I momentarily considered throwing the CD _under_ the wheels of a bus.

By the time I'd helped Sunny out of her seat, Johnny was standing at the front of my car. I locked up and grabbed Sunny's hand. She held out her other hand to Johnny. He took it, as if holding some strange woman's kid's hand was a daily occurrence, and we made our way to Aunt Alice's room together like some kind of dysfunctional family.

When Aunt Alice's room was only two doors down, Sunny took off at a run. I heard Aunt Alice laugh and tell Sunny she'd missed her before we entered. Aunt Alice looked up at us and beamed. My heart ached as I took in her fragile features.

"Johnny boy, come here, let me look at you!" Aunt Alice spoke as if she'd met him a hundred times before. I felt a cool chill run down my spine when I saw Johnny smile and approach Aunt Alice without inhibition.

I watched her take his face between her fragile hands and the whole scene seemed so surreal, yet familiar. It was almost a sense of déjà vu.

"Just as I remember," she declared before letting him go.

I couldn't see his face from where I stood, but I heard the laughter in his voice when he replied. "I'm glad."

Once Johnny had moved away, I gave her a hug and breathed in the familiar scent of her lavender soap.

"I missed you, dear," she whispered into my ear as I held her tightly.

"I missed you, too," I replied.

It was just as we did every week. Whether she was aware of that fact, I'm not quite sure. She was so muddled up these days no one knew what was a vision and what was some memory she'd dredged up from inside that mind of hers.

We all sat down and talked about Sunny and her trip to see Igglepiggle the day before. I tried not to show my fury at the mention of his name, but Johnny had noticed it. I flinched as his hand wrapped around mine, but his touch made me giddy and I instantly forgot about Igglepiggle and Skanky Daisy.

Before long, it was time to head home. Johnny was flavor of the day when he suggested we go to the beach. He spent hours goofing around with Sunny at the playground by the foreshore before we went home for dinner, which Sunny was adamant that Johnny should join us for. After seeking silent approval from me, he agreed.

We made homemade pizzas and devoured them while watching Sleeping Beauty, Sunny's favorite movie.

Over the following weeks Johnny came with us every Sunday to meet with Aunt Alice and would then spend the night at our place. It was Johnny's fourth week visiting Aunt Alice when things went wayside. So far to the wayside in fact that it had me feeling as if I had fallen from the edge of the Earth.

I was watching Alice and Sunny as they discussed what Sunny had been up to during the week. Upon Sunny bringing up an altercation she'd had with another kid in the playground just days before, I began to feel an intense feeling of déjà vu. It was so real that I began to scream silently for it all to stop so I could look ahead to see what happens next. Only it kept on going and it all seemed to be going faster. Their voices became muted as I concentrated on how fast the world was spinning. It all seemed to be getting out of control. I grew scared as I realized that I couldn't see ahead of time, yet I could feel that surreal sense of living this moment before.

The world seemed to slow just as quickly as it had sped up and I realized then that my hand was laced with Johnny's. Voices seemed to come back into focus as though I were swimming to the surface of a pool after sitting at the bottom.

"…right, Bella?.. Bella!"

I jumped at the sound of Aunt Alice calling me and shifted my leg so that Johnny's hand fell away from mine. I suddenly didn't want Sunny seeing his gesture of affection. I couldn't even tell you why.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. "Huh?" I asked, looking at Aunt Alice in confusion.

"I was just telling Sunny how one day Johnny would be moving in with you and she'd get to sing the bed time song with him every night."

Ice cold air seemed to blow across the back of my neck as a mixture of fear, anxiousness and embarrassment rolled over me. I stood up so quickly that the floor felt as if it were coming up to meet me. I stepped toward the door and held steadfast onto the handle.

"I … Alice, you can't say things like that. Sunny …" I looked at my daughter. Her sweet, rounded face looked up at me expectantly. She was waiting for what I had to say to her, and when I said nothing she turned back to look at Alice.

"What's wrong with mummy?" she asked in a small voice.

"She's having a panic attack, dear. She misheard me, you see. I said _'one day'_ not _tomorrow_…"

More was being said, but I couldn't hear it. It was as if by her saying I was having a panic attack, my body suddenly decided that that was indeed what was happening. I felt the air being pushed from my lungs and tried desperately to get it back. I even tried fanning it into my mouth as if it made perfect sense to scoop up oxygen and put it in my opened gob. Everything started to become blurry and I could barely make out Johnny's face when he was suddenly standing in front of me.

I realized then that he was talking to me, but I couldn't make out the muffled words. His arm wrapped around me and I was vaguely aware of him walking me out of the room. The moment we stepped outside the harsh sun began making the prickly heat of embarrassment that much more intense. I flinched and stepped back to move out of the sunlight. I only succeeded in stepping on Johnny's foot and losing my balance. He held me tighter and led me to the garden bench by the door. With his arm still around me, I heard his muffled encouragement to relax.

The moment I sat down, oxygen began to rush back into my lungs. I gasped as the sensation of my lungs filling up and the blood flowing through my body with intense speed, made me heady.

"What just happened?"

I felt Johnny's fingertips brush up and down my upper arm before he finally answered. "You had a panic attack." He said it so casually that he sounded like Aunt Alice had moments before.

I gazed up at him. I was so confused that I could literally feel my eyebrows meet in the middle. "How can you not be freaked out by that? The things she says, the things she … does …" My voice petered out as a small smile began to spread over his face, making his dimples come out to play.

I was so shocked by his reaction that I wanted to rip off my eyebrows and hold them up high, just so my face could match the shock I felt inside.

"So she says one day we'll live together, it's hardly an atrocity is it?"

"But to say that to Sunny? That's just giving her false hope!"

"Is it?" He looked at me questioningly. His voice was level as he spoke and it took me a second to notice that he was serious, despite the small smile he sported.

"We … just … met." I tried to find words to explain how absurd this all was. "I barely know you!" My oxygen levels were depleting again. I couldn't force another word out.

Those dimples again. "Well, I'm a Gemini. I like horror movies, long walks along the beach-" I playfully punched him in the leg.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

His laugh relaxed me a little. I allowed my head to rest on his chest for a moment, and he pulled me into him in response. "We'll just take this a day at a time, but there's something you should know."

"I hope it's not that you're wanted for murder in another state," I mumbled into his shirt.

"Well there was that one time –" I looked up at him, mouth agape. He laughed and shook his head. "I'm joking, I promise. But you need to know this." He held my gaze imploringly. "I'm not going anywhere. My Wonder World and your Adventure World are meant for each other. It'd just be cruel to cancel their play dates because you're unsure about the future."

"Am I that easy to read?"

"You make it very clear that Sunny is your main priority and you don't want her future to be marred by your bad decisions. You're a good mother; it's what every good mother wants. I just hoped that eventually you'd see that I'm not the worst decision you could make." He was only half teasing me, but I smiled at him none the less.

"I suppose it would be a bad decision on my part to separate Adventure and Wonder World, wouldn't it?" I replied as calmly as possible. I tried my best to hide the fact that my insides wanted to be on the outside.

He hummed in agreement before replying. "Catastrophic," he agreed as he smiled at me. His perfectly shaped dimples made an appearance and I scowled at him. His dimples got deeper and I scowled at him harder. Eventually he broke into laughter and I laughed along with him.

For once I felt truly relaxed with my life and where I was within it. What's more, I couldn't wait to see what my future held. I vowed that from that day forward, I would be more accepting of Aunt Alice's cryptic messages.

Oh, and for the record, from the day our worlds collided, I couldn't watch Johnny on television anymore without smiling secretly and daydreaming about tearing off his purple and orange outfit, as we have done plenty of times. Though, Sunny will gladly tell anyone who's willing to listen that Johnny Chuck is her mommy's boyfriend. Yeah, okay, sometimes it's me telling the world that I'm dating Johnny Chuck and that we have our own bedtime song we like to sing.

**The Fire Trucking End**

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it and thank you so much to everyone that has read this and big love back to those that reviewed on top of reading it. <strong>

**In other news AoC will be updating and finishing soon. I have made a promise to myself, no more stories until AoC is complete. So to all my AoC supporters, who inadvertently support my lazy ass, bless you and thank you, from the bottom of my heart xx**

**Aunt Alice just told me that those that didn't review the story would rec it to their friends instead. Boy, I hope she's right! :D **


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